Now That We Are Home

Now that We Are Home

It is hard to believe that we are finally home with Andy!  He is doing great and seems to love his new brother and sister. Even though it has been over 2 years since we began this process it seems like just the other day that we filled out our first form.  At this point, we are no longer in a process to adopt but we are the parents of a child who was orphaned. Beginning the parenting journey provides a whole new season of adventure and challenge.

So many of you have encouraged, given, prayed, and helped along the way and we are very grateful.  We have needed you.  We are also going to continue to need you in a particular way now that he is home.  We need you to understand and embrace the process of helping us become Andy’s parents in his eyes. Hopefully, the following information will help you understand what we mean.

FORMING ATTACHMENT. Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time. In a normal parent/child relationship, when a child communicates a physical or emotional need, a parent meets the need and soothes the child. This attachment cycle repeats over and over again, creating a trusting and secure relationship between the child and his parents. By God's design, a foundation of attachment is laid in the tiniest of babies that will profoundly impact their behavior, learning, health, emotions, relationships, and values for the rest of their lives.

INTERRUPTIONS IN ATTACHMENT. Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this attachment process. The loss of their biological parents at an early age is a major trauma on their little hearts, whether they are a few weeks or several years old. Spending time in an orphanage disrupts the attachment process even further.

RECREATING ATTACHMENT. In the first 8 months of his life, Andy has had multiple caregivers beginning with his birth-mom, then in an orphanage, and now in a transition home. When we are home, he will have lost another caregiver. Because of this, it will take time for him to learn to love and trust us as his family. We will be setting some boundaries to help the process move forward as quickly as possible. The best way for Shelley and me to form a parent/child bond with Andy is to be the only ones to hold, snuggle, kiss, instruct, soothe, and feed him for the first few months.  Although it may appear that we are spoiling him, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. During this time, as part of the "cocooning" process, Andy will have structure, boundaries, and close proximity to us that is different than a child who enters a family at birth.  It may sound extreme, but from everything we have read and have learned from other families who have adopted, this is really the best way to help Andy.

As we consistently meet all of his needs in a predictable, secure environment, Andy will learn that we are his parents, that the world is a good place, that his needs make sense, and that he can trust us to meet his needs and love him deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn parent/child connection.

HOW YOU MAY HELP. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have Andy hugged and loved on by ALL of you. Until he has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, however, it would help if you would limit your physical contact with him and point him to us if you see that he has a need.

Please set physical boundaries. It is important that other adults refrain from what is typically considered normal physical contact with Andy. This will (for a while) include things like holding, excessive hugging, and kissing. By setting physical boundaries, you will help Andy learn the difference between you and us. You will also help him gain the confidence that he is with us to stay and will not be taken away. We are not saying you can’t touch him at all.  There just needs to be limits. Feel free to give him all the high fives, fist pumps, and pokes in the belly that you want!

While we want to let you hold and love on Andy, we are just asking that you support us during these early months. We don’t want you to have a fear of messing him up.  I am sure we will do that on our own! Like we said before, this is going to be a great adventure. Please don’t hesitate to ask us about any of this if it doesn’t make sense.

You are all amazing and we are thankful for you.

The Hunts

Introducing, from the Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C.....just flying in from Ethiopia (and boy are his arms tired). our son...

Andy Hunt

Leavin' On A Jet Plane, Part 2

We will be on an airplane headed for Ethiopia in 2 days (Saturday, Sept. 22).  The crazy thing, well there are a lot of crazy things, is that we just learned that yesterday!  Nothing like just dropping life and getting way out of town.

We knew that the date was coming after Tuesday of this week when we learned that our case had been cleared by the U.S. Embassy.  We even had a pretty good idea that we would get the word on Wednesday.  We just weren't so sure that the turn around would be this fast.

I rolled out of bed on Wednesday at 6 a.m. after a restless night of sleep.  Normally I go straight for my coffee and my Bible.  On this day I went straight for my email.  When I opened it I saw an email from the U.S. Embassy.  It was just like Christmas!  I didn't open it. WHAT?  I closed my computer, went into the bedroom, and woke Shelley up by saying, "Do you want to know when we are going?"  She lifted her head and I opened the computer and said, "Let's read it together."  Her response..."I CAN'T SEE!  JUST READ IT TO ME!" I opened the email and read the one sentence email,

"Your Embassy appointment has been scheduled for September 26."

We woke up!  We got to work! Since then, which was yesterday, we have had to buy plane tickets (still not free), recruit people to take care of James and Emily (we have amazing friends and family), get everything for my ministry at Clemson covered (we have amazing students and staff), pack, shop, be freaked out...you know, just normal stuff.

Right now we have a bunch of diapers, formula, a pack of beef jerky (for me not Andy), and a ton of other stuff being packed so we can get on an airplane this Saturday.  We will be home in a week and then the real adventure begins, living as a family of 6 (Remember that Pete does count).

 Life is so amazing.  We are so blessed by God. We do not deserve this.

ANDY IS COMING HOME!!!

T-Shirts For Sale

We are still so overwhelmed by what is going on in our lives.  The days can't go by quick enough.  We are ready to bring Andy home!

We have have been the recipients of so much generosity over the past 2 years that it blows our minds.  Being a receiver is humbling.

Here in the last stretch we are selling custom made T-shirts designed by a former student and friend at Clemson.  The design is an outline of Ethiopia with a safety pin through it and Psalm 127:3 written in it.

Each shirt is $15.  Youth and adult sizes are available.

We will take orders until Aug. 31.  At that time we will place the order with the printing company.

We would love for you and anyone you know to consider purchasing a shirt.  If you are outside of our area we will mail it to you.

Send your order to:

jdouglashunt@gmail.com
Include:  size, quantity, & mailing address if applicable.

Checks can be made out to Doug Hunt and sent to:

416 Rock Creek Rd.
Clemson, SC. 29631

Here is the design

Meeting Andy

             We met up with our driver in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia at 9 a.m. on August 5 after 20 hours of travel.  We were tired and ready to rest.  We had been told before the trip that we would meet our child on the 6^th leaving us all day on the 5^th to recover from the trip.  Our amazing host and driver turned back to us and handed us our itinerary for the week and it read, “Sunday, August 9: 9 a.m.  - pick up at the airport, 10 a.m. – meet your child.”   It took us a minute, due to the brain fog from travel, to realize what was about to happen.  We were going straight to meet our son.

We arrived at Hannah’s Hope just before 10 a.m., took our stuff to our room, and then walked next door.  Above the door that leads in to the building where the children are is the simple word, “Hope”.  It is such a good symbol of what those children find there.  As we walked in we headed into a living room and there was one of the “special mothers” (ladies who work there taking care of the children) holding the most beautiful and handsome 6-month-old little boy. We immediately recognized him from the pictures.  He was ours. We were meeting Andy for the first time.

It is impossible to accurately describe what happened in our hearts as the “special mother” handed him to Shelley for the first time.  It was no longer about being a number on a wait list, or planning travel, or court appointments, or raising funds, or process.  It was about a life and our little family of four in that moment becoming a family of five. Well I guess it is a family of six if you count our dog Pete…he counts.  It was a supernatural moment on our lives.

The next couple of days were all about being with him.  We stared at him, touched him, played with him, fed him, bathed him, changed him, and loved on him as much as we could. It was obvious that his little 6-month-old mind was confused. When we would get time with him each day, the first things he would do was slowly and deliberately move the middle two fingers on his right hand into his mouth.  We could tell that he was getting more comfortable when he would be a little slower on the draw with is two fingers.  I would be confused too.  He has been through a lot in his short little life.  After all who were these two strange looking people anyway?

Court was scheduled for Wednesday morning.  The night before we were taken out to eat at an authentic Ethiopian restaurant complete with amazing entertainment.  The food was good and I was not about to let the statement, “That is really spicy. You may not want to eat that “ scare me. The next morning I was wishing I had a little more “fear”.  Feeling pretty queasy, Shelley and I were picked up to drive to court.  The air there is thin, full of diesel fumes and the roads, well they are interesting.  I just prayed that I would not be getting reacquainted with my spicy dinner.

We made it to court with our lawyer who was provided by our adoption agency (AGCI). Climbed 10 flights of stairs and then waited in what looked like a classroom filled with people.  After about an hour a lady stepped out of the judge’s office and said something and our lawyer stood up and started walking.  We followed.  We went into a small room where we sat before the judge.  She asked us a few simple questions; Have you met the child? Have you taken course to learn about adoption?  Have you learned about the Ethiopian culture?  Then she said something to the effect of, “after the courts approval this adoption cannot be reversed.  Are you sure you want to adopt this child?” Hmm….With massive smiles on our faces we said, “Oh yes!”.  Then these powerful words came out of her mouth. “He is now your child and that can never be reversed.”  We wept.

We had one more full day with our son and savored every minute of it.  Because of Ethiopian adoption law and adoption process we are were not able to bring our son home until he has a visa from the USA.  The visa is usually issued 6-8 weeks after the court’s approval. That means we were getting ready to leave our son in Ethiopia for now.  So on Thursday afternoon around 4pm we had been staring, loving, playing, cleaning, and feeding Andy when the moment came that we were dreading.  It was terrible.  Heart wrenching.  After he had fallen asleep, we handed him back to the “special mother”, kissed him on the head and said goodbye.  We walked out of the room and onto the balcony overlooking the street and just cried.  We were filled with the mixture of joy because we have a new son and the obvious sadness of leaving him.

Now we are back home praying for time to fly.  We are praying for process to move at light speed.  We need a court decree to be sent out, his passport and birth certificate to be made and a date at the US Embassy to be scheduled.  Then we will go back and bring him home. We are just ready for the Hunt family to be six of us in one place (don’t forget Pete).  We are ready for Andy to come home.

This whole thing is just amazing.  It is teaching me so much.  We are not rescuers of little boy. We are receivers of a gift of grace.  We are not doing something to brag about.  We are being allowed to be a part of something supernatural.  There is so much more to this than “what we are doing”.  God is just being so kind to us.  We are humbled and thankful.

The Hunts

Leavin' On a Jet Plane

The past week and a half has been a whirlwind in our adoption journey.  We were in the waiting period for 22 months, then the phone rang.  Our agency (AGCI) called to let us know that we had been matched with a 6 month-old little boy.  It is pretty much impossible to describe what that conversation was like.  It was amazing.  At the end of the call she sent us an email with 8 photos of the most handsome little Ethiopian man in the world.

So, we celebrated by crying, smiling, gazing at the photos, eating a great meal, buying him a stuffed animal…being overwhelmed.

The next part of the process was to receive our court date in Ethiopia, which determines the timing of our first trip.  Well, that call came yesterday.  Court date is August 8 and we have to be in Ethiopia on Aug. 5.  So much has to happen in the next week and a half for us to actually be ready to leave the country for a week.  So we are praying hard and working hard to get on that plane and go meet our son.

We need you and anyone else you know to pray the following things for us:

1)   Our faith in God’s care for our immediate needs.  It is so easy to be shortsighted and have little faith even when God has already been so faithful along the way.

2)   Booking travel.  We need to book travel as a fast as possible in order to get the itinerary we need.

3)   Emily and James.  We will be leaving them for a week and Pete (our dog) can’t take care of them so we will be handing them off for a few days.

4)   Safety in travel.

5)   Our son, Anderson Daniel (Andy) who has no idea we even exist.  That God would graciously protect and prepare him to be in the Hunt family.

Thank you so much for praying.

Doug

a.k.a Andy’s dad.

New Numbers

I guess I forgot to post last month's numbers. But here are the current numbers as of April 30th.

Girl

10

Boy

4

   

An Update

It's been awhile since we've updated. Not much has been happening on our end. We have spent the last few months updating our home study, fingerprints, and FDL which has expired. But it is done and hopefully won't have to do it again. We also received some updates from our agency about the process and why it seems to have slowed down. It was a lot of information but basically they are required to do more investigation on the children (per Ethiopia government) before they can refer them to families. All of that takes time, time, and more time. Although we are still seeing children being referred and brought home. So that is good news. We also got new numbers. Here you go...

Girl

Boy

Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for us. We are getting close!

It takes a village...

You may have heard this phrase before..."It takes a village to raise a family". Well I truly believe that. I read a blog post that put into words what I've been thinking, feeling, and anticipating for months. If you have any desire to know how to love us during this time of "waiting" and how to love us after the "wait" please read this...Jen Hatmaker

I would love to hear your thoughts as well.